Adnan Malik won the hearts of many with his incredible performance in Sadqay Tumhare where he shared the screen with none other than Mahira Khan. However, the actor recently opened up about his struggles and mental health issues that he faced during and after completing the critically acclaimed project.
In an Instagram post, Adnan Malik shared his story and answered the most asked question,
‘Why he doesn’t act that much?’
https://www.instagram.com/p/B68LNByANEa/
“Every time I have gone out, people just can’t help asking me why I am no longer on the screen… Although it’s incredibly flattering to feel the genuine love of people who’ve appreciated my work as an actor, I do feel uncomfortable sometimes. In those quick short fire exchanges, I can’t seem to explain the role acting has in my life,” wrote Adnan.
The director turned actor explained his perspective of being an actor. He confesses that he never wanted to be one.
“I never wanted to be an actor. It was never on my agend… For some reason everyone thought I should be an actor when I was in my early 20’s. Tall, handsome, smart and well spoken is how people perceived me, but inside I was sad, incomplete, unloved and also full of shame.”
Adnan also shared his first experience as an actor on Sadqay Tumhare and how his on screen persona Khalil raised many challenges for him.
“The most challenging tasks of my life: to portray someone else’s life and to try and do it with integrity, heart and verisimilitude. I extracted myself from my own life and dedicated all that I had into this masterfully crafted biographical world,” he continued. “Now the thing I didn’t know about acting was that when the director calls cut, I should leave the character there as well. But I didn’t. I took Khalil home with me. I slowly became Khalil. I didn’t know where I started and he ended.”
He further added,
“It was also at this point that I realized I have severe anxiety and being in front of the camera exacerbated that… I remember there were times I had to do 30 Retakes because I would sabotage my own performance thinking it wasn’t good enough. I was constantly battling my own demons on the inside. And it was very difficult.”
Adnan then shared tidbits of a time, when his situation got worse.
“I lost serious weight, would be up all night, worried about my performance, I would sometimes cry without knowing why. I began to resent my parents, disconnected myself to all my friends and relationships, and It all became too overwhelming. I had accessed my inner child and brought him to the surface and I was ashamed. I needed help.”
The actor then shared his journey of going to the therapist.
“After I managed to get through the shooting of the drama I decided to see a therapist. And that moment was the beginning of my journey of connecting with my true, authentic self.”
“It’s been 5 years since Sadqay, and about 5 years, off and on, that I’ve been going to therapy. It’s been an incredible journey and one that I’m so grateful for. Sadqay led me to myself and I’m so much more comfortable in my skin now,” he added.
Adnan concluded his post with,
“For now, to all the people who ask why I’m not on screen anymore, it’s because I see acting as a way to honor myself, to connect to a deeper spiritual self and a way to confront my own demons. I can’t take it lightly.”
