Passenger’s Diarrhea Forces Delta Flight to Make Emergency U-Turn

A new record was set for the quickest turnaround in aviation history – from “wheels up” to “we need janitors” in a matter of hours.

A Delta flight found itself in deep doo-doo when it was forced to make a U-turn after a passenger unleashed a tidal wave of diarrhea that allegedly “ran all the way through the plane.”

The ill-fated flight, en route from Atlanta to Barcelona, was cruising at 30,000 feet when the air turned decidedly less friendly. Approximately two hours into their journey, the pilot, in a mix of astonishment and panic, radioed air traffic control with the kind of announcement you don’t hear every day:

It’s just a biohazard issue, we had a passenger who had diarrhea all the way through the airplane, so they want us to come back to Atlanta.

Cue the collective gasp from passengers and crew. We can only imagine the flight attendants’ frantic attempt to contain the chaos, with passengers desperately seeking refuge in the furthest corners of the aircraft.

Flight 194, now deemed a flying sewage system, had no other option but to execute a dramatic U-turn back to its point of departure, as the crew collectively decided that soaring through the skies amidst a swirling fecal maelstrom was not in anyone’s best interest.

The passengers must have had a mix of reactions: some probably sighed in relief at the unexpected detour, while others must have wondered if they’d mistakenly boarded a rollercoaster instead of a plane.

The plane landed back at Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport at 10.40pm, much to the surprise of those awaiting their loved ones at baggage claim. And thus, a new record was set for the quickest turnaround in aviation history – from “wheels up” to “we need janitors” in a matter of hours.