Comedy-drama, Chupke Chupke is the latest to stir outrage online for promoting problematic norms. Many netizens called out the show for casting ‘ghar damads‘ (live in sons-in-law) in a bad light.
The founder of the online support community, Soul Sisters Pakistan, Kanwal Ahmed called out the problematic portrayal and stigma surrounding men that don’t ‘bring home the bride’.
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She tweeted how Hum TV’s Chupke Chupke reinforces problematic stereotypes.
“Trust our dramas to disempower audiences by reinforcing problematic stereotypes,… Here the ghar damaad is an object of constant ridicule.”
Trust our dramas to disempower audiences by reinforcing problematic stereotypes. Such as here the ‘ghar damad’ character is an object of constant ridicule.
Only yesterday a woman on SSP was asking how she & sisters can manage her old parents as none of them can move in with them. pic.twitter.com/58F51J3Qc2— Kanwal Ahmed (@kanwalful) April 17, 2021
Chupke Chupke casts big names like Ayeza Khan, Osman Khalid Butt, Mira Sethi, Asma Abbasi, etc. It even marks YouTuber Arslan Naseer’s drama debut.
Perhaps people had too high expectations, but the drama serial isn’t doing itself any favours by degrading Ali Safina’s character for staying with his in-laws. He’s constantly put down in attempts at humor.
Kanwal drew parallels between the demeaning portrayal of the son-in-law and a woman who complained on SSP that she and her sister were unable to take care of their old parents because she couldn’t move back in with them with her husband due to societal pressures.
That’s when one of our favorite feminists, Osman said Kanwal provided his two cents on the character. He explained how there might have been a misunderstanding but the drama character isn’t how Kanwal has perceived it.
“It’s important to mention that this ghar damaad refuses to work despite being offered a job in the family business,… [He] isn’t with his in-laws because of financial or any duress.”
This is an interesting take; however it's important to mention this 'ghar damad' refuses to work despite being offered a job in the family business, isn't with his in-laws because of financial (or any) duress, & while he's played for broad comedy, has his own arc.
— Osman Khalid Butt 🇵🇸 (@aClockworkObi) April 17, 2021
The reason the ghar damad fails to receive respect as a member of the household is that he isn’t contributing as one.
However, Kanwal still lamented how comedies that identify with problematic stereotypes reinforce it in society.
“How many men would want to be ghar damads after watching this,” she remarked.
Thanks for the response Osman. My concern though is that comedy that identifies with problematic, existing stereotypes reinforces it in society. For example how many men would want to be ghar damads after watching this?
— Kanwal Ahmed (@kanwalful) April 17, 2021
The Baaji actor admitted that the character is indeed not a detailed take on the stereotype and viewers will consider that his wife is called out for demeaning him.
I understand that this isn't a nuanced take on the stereotype but viewers will also be considering the fact that his wife is shown to be quite obviously dominating/demeaning (which she's called out on, albeit in a comedic manner), and he's a slacker, no?
— Osman Khalid Butt 🇵🇸 (@aClockworkObi) April 17, 2021
A range of other problems were also raised.
Well obviously you can only be a Ghar Damad when your wife is dominating! You really don’t see the stereotypes here and how they perpetuate problematic beliefs/behaviors?
— Nausheen Noor (@NausheeNoor) April 18, 2021
I understand the points raised by you. However, he is constantly ridiculed and sentences like "don't end up like him wherever you go", cannot be ignored
— Aqsa Kashaf (@aqsa_kashaf) April 18, 2021
@aClockworkObi Sure, comedy, but who's watching it? Restrictive & disempowering stereotypes ARE being perpetuated, stipulating that a person's worth is derived from employment status, homeowner status, car, wealth, status etc. So toxic, & reinforcing social privilege. @kanwalful
— Noor Mirza (@Noorbano93) April 19, 2021
Someone even pointed out how they cannot relate to one of the Dadi’s who is supposed to be ethnic Saraiki.
Why it is necessary to show these type of people as saraiki and from south punjab? Why can't you show them as your own people? Why so much racism?
— UsmanSK (@Usman_skhan) April 18, 2021
Many other problems with representation also arose.
I agree. This drama is so problematic. Yet to find anything funny about it. The women especially the sisters are also stereotypically portrayed manipulative.
— MKTanoli (@anothergroanup) April 17, 2021
the stereotyping are also annoying. the cousin marriage trop has been done to death and yet here we are
— Ayesha (@ayishaikon) April 18, 2021
https://twitter.com/CTDraculaCT/status/1383669349530030086
Particularly when it comes to misrepresenting assertive women.
Why would an assertive woman marry such a guy in the first place. It kind of ridicules women with strong women as deserving of silly men/ghar jamahis.
— Zarnaab Aswad (@ZarnaabAswad) April 17, 2021
Why would an assertive woman marry such a guy in the first place. It kind of ridicules women with strong women as deserving of silly men/ghar jamahis.
— Zarnaab Aswad (@ZarnaabAswad) April 17, 2021
But question is that whether the society accepts Ghar damads? There is nothing wrong for man to be ghar damad n supports breadwinner wife..
— Women Empowerment (@LadiesEmpowerme) April 18, 2021
What do you think of Kanwal’s question? Do you feel she makes a good point? Is the issue of representation why television is failing to appeal to a younger, progressive audience? Is television a dying art form in Pakistan as well?
Let us know what you think in the comments below.
