Office Love Triangle is Destroying Our Friendship

Dear Sana, 

My best friend and I both like the same guy at work. He knows we’re both interested and seems to be enjoying the attention. However, sometimes I feel that he is more interested in my friend than he is in me, and it’s affecting our friendship and also making me feel insecure about myself.

How do I find out who he likes so I can impress him enough to choose me over her?




Hello S, 

It seems, to me that this guy might be guilty of playing you and your friend off against each other, and you seem to be dancing to his tune, which can’t be good for you. 

Firstly, if you are attracted to someone, it’s always a good idea to be yourself. If you want to find out more about what someone likes, the best thing to do is to talk to them and get to know them better. Ask them about their interests and hobbies, and listen attentively to what they have to say. You could also ask mutual friends or colleagues if they know anything about his interests that might help you. Just remember not to be too pushy or intrusive, and to respect their boundaries.

However, you have to consider your friend in this scenario. It is never appropriate to try to manipulate someone’s feelings or compete with a friend over a romantic interest. Instead, focus on building a genuine connection with the guy and showing him your best qualities. If he is meant to be with you, it will happen naturally without you having to try hard to win him over. If he is meant to be with you, it will happen without trying to win him over or manipulate his feelings. If not, respect your friend’s feelings and move on.

In the meantime, communicate with your friend about your feelings and try to maintain a healthy and supportive friendship with her.

Remember, your worth is not determined by whether or not they are romantically interested in you. You’re enough by yourself, and should continue being your best self regardless.


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