Here Are the Top 9 Things You Definitely Shouldn’t Say to an IT Person

Everybody knows an IT guy or an IT gal. Fortunately for this internet-crazed world, there are a lot of “IT people around”. The geeks, the computer wizards, the Techies, the “I want to open every gadget in my house up even if I mess it up” people.

You may call them nerds drunk on caffeine, slumped behind their keyboards, but none of that matters when the worst comes to the worst. Internet not working? Forgot the Wi-Fi password? The new game you bought has a tricky installation process? That cool video of squishy cats your friend sent to you turned out to be a virus that encrypted your hard drive and wants you to pay up? You know who to call (hint: not the Ghostbusters).

All of these reasons are why you don’t want to piss off an IT person. They might not look that threatening in that a-little-too-big-hoodie, hooked on the latest season of The Big Bang Theory, but they sure do know how to work a keyboard.

So, here is a comprehensive list of everything you should NOT say to an IT person.

1. ‘No, I did not Google it!’

I can’t emphasize this enough — whatever problem you are facing, chances are that the solution to 90% of them is the top search result when you google it.

Yes, we get it, technology has gotten quite complex and there are a lot of things that a lot of people don’t know about. But most of the problems a normal person faces are very small and very easy to fix and you could easily find the solution within seconds. That’s what Google is for!

I.T. people made Google so you won’t bother other I.T. people. (Thanks, Google)

So, do your I.T. person (and yourself) a favor, and Google it!

2. ‘No, I did not reboot!’

“Did you try turning it off and on again?”

If you are facing any kind of suspicious error, lag or some software is not working properly, or Chrome is not opening or Wi-Fi is not working, just reboot your computer. A nice reboot allows your computer to have a nice fresh start, getting rid of most temporary errors and issues.

Seriously, it works. It’s not magic. It’s not some miraculous way of fixing errors that programmers built right into every program. But rebooting works! So before you go on calling out your I.T. person because Candy Crush is not loading, try rebooting.

3. ‘But you’re a girl.’

This is for all the ladies out there working in the IT sector, and yes, they do exist. Pointing out to a girl who loves technology that she is a girl is, well, pointless. Of course she is a girl and of course she knows that, but why on earth is it hard to understand that they too can have a career in tech?

Girls already have a hard time trying to make their way in technology due to prevalent stereotypes in our work culture and making fun of a girl for being interested in technology doesn’t help.

There are a number of amazing woman in Pakistan that are making their mark in technology. Women like Jehan Ara, the current President of Pakistan Software Houses Association (P@SHA) and the CEO of NEST/IO; Arfa Karim, the late computer science prodigy and the youngest Microsoft Certified Professional; Kalsoom Lakhani, the founder of Invest2Innovate, a social venture that provides support to seed-stage social enterprises; have already proven the potential a woman can have in this field and they are just a few of the incredible women doing wonders in technology around Pakistan.

4. ‘My phone is out of memory.’

Here is a short guide on how memory works that will free you from the constraints of needing an I.T. person to make more memory for you,

1. Store More Stuff = Memory Decreases
2. Delete More Stuff = Memory Increases

It’s no rocket science, really. And there is no workaround either. The more images, videos, apps, you have, the less memory you will have. Nobody can conjure more memory out of thin air.

Need more memory? Backup your data and delete stuff. Don’t want to delete stuff? Get a phone with a bigger memory or get a phone with the option of a Micro-SD card. Need more memory and don’t want to delete stuff? Go see a doctor.

5. ‘If you love your computer so much, why don’t you marry it?’

Computers are their job. They are their life. Don’t ask them why they love computers so much and don’t try to be like their parents by suggesting that,

“Har waqt computer computer. Shadi hi kiyun ni karlaitey is say?”

There are three reasons why you shouldn’t say that,

• It’s not funny.
• Try to be more original.
• Some of us may take it a little too seriously.

6. ‘Why does my phone/PC lag so much?’

Maybe it is because you download cracked apps/softwares from shady app stores. Or maybe it is because you opened that email attachment that Nigerian prince sent you about winning a million dollars. Or maybe it is because you wanted to buy a dirt-cheap Chinese-branded smartphone instead of buying it from a known brand.

7. ‘It showed some error, I didn’t see what it said.’

If you expect someone to help with some problem, you should know what to tell them about the problem. Most people, when faced with an error message, just ignore it. An error message is there to let you know that there is something wrong and it could be really helpful in letting you (or an I.T. person) know what the problem really is.

It is like when you go to the doctor. An I.T. person is like a computer doctor. You go to him and show your computer. He asks you the problem. You tell him the problem and he tries to fix it for you. Guess what your doctor will say if you told him that “I am not well but I don’t know how!”

8. ‘Which is better? Android or iPhone?’

This is not a ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ question. There is no universal ranking system that could tell you which is a better operating system. Each has its own advantages and disadvantages and it all comes down to an individual’s own preferences.

9. Ask a Software person to fix a Hardware problem

No, you can’t ask a person studying Software Engineering or doing a Bachelors in Computer Science to take a look at your Hardware problem.

Asking a Software Engineer to fix a Hardware problem is like asking an eye doctor to do a dentist’s work.